Down and out in Athens

One of the books I have enjoyed is George Orwell's "Down and Out in Paris". It is his account of his time in Paris. He went there for the experience of French culture and had arranged to have a job as an English teacher, but soon he lost the job. Then he ran out of money and experienced the descent from safe middle class and into the nether worlds, also known as poverty. He describes how the never-ending quest the next meal becomes an overwhelming obsession. At first he still tries to cling on to his middle class sensibilities. Keep up appearances, but when poverty strikes you can't do it. For a while he still tried to keep his clothes nice and presentable. Somehow in all this Orwell managed to keep a clear eye for the persons and situations. His account is populated with colorful characters and anecdotes from the nether-world, as well as descriptions of the logic behind that world.

The book reminded me of one of my favorite Danish films. "Hunger" based on Knut Hamsun's novel and directed by Henning Carlsen. This beautiful existential comedy is like a combination of Charlie Chaplin and Beckett. An aspiring writer has recently arrived in the capital of Norway, Oslo. He is obviously talented, but perhaps out of feeling inferior, he keeps tripping him self up constantly throughout the film. He is plagued by both a physical hunger (because he has no money) and an existential hunger (because he has no self-esteem?). He gets an article accepted at the news paper and only has to do a rewrite, but never gets around to it. He gives away money to beggars because he doesn't want to seem poor. He even pawns some of his belongings so he can do it. When the clerk at a grocery store by accident gives him to much change back, he can't accept his luck, but gives away the money. Then he returns to the clerk and fuming wih indignation tells him off for being a lousy clerk. He even sabotages his most incredible luck. The woman of his dreams, an attractive upper class woman, takes him home and initiates a relationship, but he can't have it. He feels it's too good to be true and ends up harassing her. Perhaps in your ears this doesn't sound like a comedy? Believe me, it is. The film ends in harmony, when he finally leaves Oslo on a ship with an unknown destination.

These days this is kind of like my own life. Money is running out. Chances escape me. I fuck up relationships. I think it is time for me to either embrace my impending deroute and go with Orwell, or to find a ship an sail away like Hamsun. Read more!